As I was washing my face I paid particular attention to the temperature of the water. The way it caressed my fingers and ran in and around my hands like children in a playground. The water was warm and my entire being felt so. It cooled and I felt the gentile blue dance throughout the heated water. The two combined and I was left with a temperature I couldn't place between hot and cold, warm and cool. The temperature was grey. Nothing more, nothing less, nothing different. It was grey. I felt the grey caress my hands and closed my eyes at the refrain of anything entering. I felt as though I never stopped moving my eyelids and somehow I was watching my hands cup a pool of thick grey water fill instantaneously. I held my breath and poured what felt like grey paint meticulously down my face. And that was the end.
Minutes later, I found my intrigued self glued to the keyboard: webpage displaying Dreammoods.com. I searched "Grey" which of course they denounced as nothing. I grunted and corrected myself: "Gray" Strangely enough I was met by a definitive feeling to these stringy ambiguous emotions that have been dancing around my mind.
GRAY
GRAY indicates fear, fright, depression,
ill health, ambivalence and confusion.
You may feel emotionally distant or detached.
Ah! The words sparkled like diamonds in my eyes. "you may feel emotionally distanct or detached" Not only was I very possibility feeling so, I was being assured I was allowed such behavior. These non-logical un-sensical emotions can finally be fought against and challenged.
I know what you are, fools. You cannot trick me now.
The way you described the gray didn't seem like an entirely negative experience, but rather a pleasantly neutral one (considering it's gray haha). I got this image of you reveling in your detachment from those you do not wish to interact with and that which you do not need involvement in.
ReplyDeleteSmile, you have the freedom to not care =)